


New Beginnings

by nanuk_dain



Series: Drift Compatible [33]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, PBC (Post-Breach-Collapse)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 04:56:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4087744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raleigh wakes up in the med bay to find Chuck plastered all over him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> As promised, another longish part! This time it's pure Chuck/Raleigh, because they deserved some private time after all the things I put them through ^_^ There's cuddling. And showers XD

_Hong Kong Shatterdome, 16th January 2025_

 

The world comes into focus rather slowly. First comes sound, then scent and sensation, and sight is the last sense to clear. Raleigh is used to it by now, and he knows it's partly the fault of the meds he's on. It's still a feeling he doesn't like - he was always the one to snap from sleep to full alert in the fraction of the second, it was Yancy who took five minutes just to get his eyes to open. 

Raleigh takes a moment to stare at the ceiling, trying to remember where he is and what happened. He's always disoriented when he wakes, it's also something he's getting used to. There's warm light coming through the skylight, making the med bay room look bright and friendly. When Raleigh glances at the alarm clock on the bedside table, he finds that it's almost eleven in the morning. 

The heat plastered against his side comes from Chuck who has one arm thrown over Raleigh's chest and his leg pushed between Raleigh's as if he's looking for warmth. Early this morning Doc Nash came by and checked on Raleigh, then she took out the last needles still sticking in his body. Raleigh relishes in the freedom of movement it gives him. No more paying attention to tubes and needles and that Chuck doesn't get caught up in them when they're sleeping. It's obvious that Chuck already took advantage of the newly won freedom because for once he's all over Raleigh instead of carefully staying on his less injured right side.

Raleigh smiles and lifts his right hand to card his fingers through the heavily tousled ginger hair that tickles his throat. Chuck is a cuddler. A massive, devoted cuddler. Raleigh is sure it's something he doesn't want the world to know, and he's even more sure Chuck didn't even know about it himself before getting involved with Raleigh.

Raleigh found out very quickly that Chuck is a highly physical person - once he was given permission to touch, he indulged at every opportunity. It's something Raleigh noticed even before Operation Pitfall because it was a somewhat unexpected trait for the jerk that he thought was Chuck Hansen. Not that Raleigh is any better - he can't remember being very touchy-feely before, but he certainly is with Chuck. Maybe it's a side effect of them being a perfect match, Raleigh isn't quite sure, but he has this constant urge to touch Chuck. It's even stronger now after the events of Operation Pitfall. Chuck seems to feel the same, at least he doesn't bother at all to keep from touching Raleigh when others are present, not even during yesterday's meeting with all the pilots and the science geeks. He keeps it innocent, though, his fingers playing with Raleigh's hair at the nape of his neck, their thighs touching when they're sitting next to each other or his hand holding Raleigh's. It's just about somehow maintaining physical contact.

Maybe that's what brings him back to Raleigh's room every evening like clockwork. Even if he's gone for some hours during the day, Chuck always returns by 9 pm at the latest - usually with Max in tow - and spends the rest of the evening with Raleigh, talking or playing games or simply watching some stupid show on TV. He always slips under the sheets with Raleigh and cuddles up to him when he notices him drifting off to sleep, and he's a constant, calming presence against Raleigh's body and in his mind. 

Raleigh closes his eyes and turns his face until his nose is buried in Chuck's hair, then he takes a deep breath and enjoys the way Chuck's scent fills his senses. It makes him feel safe and at peace in a way he hasn't felt in a long time. Not since Yancy. Chuck reacts to his touch instinctively, giving a soft groan and cuddling even closer, his fingers closing to a fist in the fabric of Raleigh's hospital gown. Raleigh smirks and presses a kiss to the unruly hair.

It's become a bit of a tradition. The nurses or the docs come in very early in the morning to poke at Raleigh a bit and force some food down his throat. In the meantime Chuck takes Max for a walk and leaves him with Mako or Herc, then Raleigh and Chuck get back to sleep and only wake up in time for lunch. It feels a bit like they're on a lazy holiday, if it wasn't for the injuries, the side effects of their meds and the not so beautiful location - a Shatterdome's med bay room is not a five star joint, after all. Still, it's relaxing and somehow peaceful, and Raleigh feels himself recharging more and more with every day that passes. 

The docs aren't ready to let him go just yet, either. Raleigh isn't fighting too hard right now to be released, he's honest enough with himself that he's not back on his feet yet, and it's probably better to remain under the docs' watchful eyes for a bit longer. This time it's not like after Knifehead when he only desperately wanted to leave everything behind that reminded him of Yancy's death. This time Raleigh has a reason to get better as quickly as he can, he has a reason to live. It's plastered all over him right now, sound asleep and obviously comfortable.

Raleigh also appreciates the fact that no journalists have been around to grill him yet, and he knows it's Herc's doing. He's been keeping everybody in the med bay safe from the intrusive attention of the public that comes with being a world saving hero. Not that they feel like it. Every single one of them is struggling with their injuries, Cheung and Pentecost are probably the worst off. Not that you can hear a lot of complaints, but Raleigh knows that the pains and inconveniences are _there_. Chuck may not say anything either, but Raleigh feels it when his banged up body is complaining or when the circuitry burns on his right arm are giving him trouble.

Raleigh touches his finger to the white bandage on the arm that's snug around his waist, so softly that he barely feels the fabric under his fingertip. He knows where those burns on Chuck skin come from. He shouldn't even have them, Gipsy's right side was Raleigh's hemisphere. Mako told him that Chuck had caused an overload in his side of the Conn-Pod when he'd taken on a major amount of Raleigh's pain when Raiju had ripped off Gipsy's right arm. Raleigh had asked if that was even possible, and Mako admitted that she'd wondered the same thing, so she'd done some research and talked to Doc Lightcap, and it seems that this was the first time such a thing had happened. The Doc attributed it to the fact that they're a perfect match. Functioning as one entity may as well allow one partner to control the opposite hemisphere, even if only to a certain degree.

When Raleigh looks at the bandage now, knowing what is healing underneath, he can't help feeling like these scars are a testimony of Chuck's loyalty, of his sincerity, of his... _affection_. Raleigh suddenly understands what Chuck said about Raleigh's scars. That he loves them because they stand for Raleigh's fights, his courage. Raleigh can't wait for the bandage on Chuck's arm to disappear so that he can see those scars that match his, can touch them, trace them, kiss them and pay homage to the sacrifice Chuck made - for him. To protect him. 

It's a very humbling feeling. He just wishes the scars wouldn't hurt Chuck so much, that he could take on some of that pain. But that's something that only works during an active neural handshake, a ghost drift isn't strong enough for such interaction. Raleigh may feel Chuck's pain, but he can't take it on. From personal experience Raleigh knows how much burns of that degree hurt, and that Chuck will have to live with that pain for a long time before it'll ease. The new circuitry burns on his own right arm are a match to Chuck's, but they're much less severe than his. They're already turning a pinkish white, and he won't feel them much longer. Raleigh likes knowing that they have the same pattern on the same part of their body, it's a somehow very intimate link. 

His other injuries don't come from the fight but from the journey in the escape pod through the Breach and back to the surface of the ocean. Raleigh doesn't remember much after he triggered the ejection of his own escape pod. He knows what happened because he was told, but there's not even a flicker of memory. Doc Nash told him that he must have lost consciousness shortly after the explosion of Gipsy's core hit his pod, and that the shockwave stopped his heart long enough that he was considered dead. She also told him that he regained consciousness once, right after his escape pod was found, before falling into a coma for almost two days.

His memory loss and the confusion every time he wakes seem to be a side effects of the solo piloting. His brain scans after Knifehead already indicated that he'd suffered some damage from piloting Gipsy solo back to shore, but it hadn't been analysed further since he'd left the PPDC as soon as he was well enough to walk.

Caitlin Lightcap came by to visit him after the meeting yesterday morning. She asked him if he'd allow her to analyse all the data on him from Knifehead til now and maybe do a few tests with him. She'd explained that she's trying to figure out what happened to Pentecost, and since Raleigh is to only other pilot alive who ever managed to pilot solo, he's her only reference. Raleigh agreed, of course he'll do everything he can to make Pentecost get better. He owes the man big time, after all. Not to mention that now that he has a perfect match himself, he can begin to imagine what Herc must be going through right now.

Raleigh feels his stomach growl and decides that it's time to wake Chuck and get ready for lunch which is usually served around noon. So he nuzzles the ginger hair and lets his fingers caress Chuck's neck, trying to get his attention. "Morning, Charlie."

There's no reaction, not that Raleigh expected one. He's found out early on that Chuck hates getting up. That doesn't mean that he can't snap awake instantly, just that he doesn't like it and will only do it if he has to. For a Kaiju alert, for example.

This is no Kaiju alert. This is Raleigh poking him, and in Chuck's book, that obviously doesn't even qualify as a reason to wake up at all, never mind instantly. Raleigh smirks and trails his fingers along Chuck's throat and his jaw to his ear and then over his cheek to his mouth and his nose. Chuck stirs, but still doesn't open his eyes.

"Chaaaarliiiiie." Raleigh draws out the name rather excessively in hope of provoking a reaction from Chuck. "Time to wake up." 

"Five more minutes." Chuck growls and resolutely buries his face against Raleigh's throat as if trying to hide from the world. "And don't call me that."

Raleigh chuckles. This seems to be Chuck's standart reply when somebody tries to wake him. Raleigh has lost count of how many times he's heard it already. He still finds it utterly adorable.

He leans in as much as his sore body allows and touches his lips to Chuck's temple in a lingering kiss. Chuck instantly leans into the caress as if it's a reflex. Raleigh loves those instinctive reactions. He's never had such a responsive partner before. Of course he knows that part of it is caused by their perfect match bond, but that doesn't lessen the pleasure he takes in it.

"Come on, Charlie." Raleigh murmurs against his skin, the smirk obvious in his voice. "Show me those green tiger eyes."

"You're annoying, y'know that?" Chuck's voice is muffled because his face is still hidden against Raleigh's neck.

"I'm doing my best." Raleigh replies, not bothering to hide his amusement. After a second or two Chuck raises his head and sleepily blinks at Raleigh, then he gives a huge yawn and stretches to his full impressive length before he relaxes again. He wriggles a bit until he's lying along Raleigh's right side, propped up on one elbow and looking down to him.

"How're you feeling?" Chuck eyes him carefully, and Raleigh just knows that he's concentrating on the ghost drift so that he can tell if Raleigh is whitewashing things. Usually such a behaviour would annoy him, but Chuck doing it only makes him smile. He knows it's not meant to be patronising, he can feel sincere worry bleed over the ghost drift. Chuck does it because he _cares_.

"A lot better now that there are no more needles sticking in my body and I can move again without fearing that the tubes get caught in something." It's just in that moment that Raleigh remembers that Doc Lightcap will come by around one pm for some test. He doesn't know what kind of tests, but the idea of meeting somebody other than Chuck makes him realise that he hasn't had a shower since before Operation Pitfall.

Raleigh suddenly feels itchy and gross. He's only had sponge baths so far, and he craves the cleansing sensation of warm water running down his skin. He can't help wrinkling his nose. "I need a shower." 

Chuck raises an eyebrow, and there's definitely an amused note to it. "It wouldn't hurt. But are you okay to stand for so long?"

"Honestly?" Raleigh shrugs, just with the right shoulder, though, since it'll hurt like hell to do it with the left. "I have no idea. I guess I'll find out."

"I'll take that shower with you." Chuck says and Raleigh can't help giving him a leer and wiggle his eyebrows suggestively. Chuck consequently hits his uninjured right shoulder, not especially hard, though. "No, you dirty old man, not for _that_ reason. To make sure you don't break your neck. Now get your mind out of the gutter."

Raleigh just laughs. "Oh come on, I _know_ that your mind followed mine right into the gutter - and it quite likes it there."

"Maybe." Chuck admits with a shrug, then he pointedly stares at Raleigh. "But guess whose fault that is for teaching me about all the nice dirty things that can be found down there."

"Guilty as charged." Raleigh grins and has to force his mind not to go in _that_ direction, because he knows he's physically not up to following through with any such idea. His body is not ready yet - he'd probably faint due to exhaustion before they even get to the interesting bits. Which is a shame, really. There are a lot of said interesting bits he still wants to try with Chuck... 

Raleigh sighs. They'll have to wait - for now. As soon as he's back to his feet, though, he has an idea or two how to spend their time together. He feels a surge of amusement and anticipation over the ghost drift right before he hears Chuck's all too innocent voice. "I've done some... _research_ , Rals, and believe me, you're not the only one with things to try."

Raleigh sputters in something that's surprise mixed with embarrassment. He wasn't aware that his thoughts transmitted _that_ clearly, or he would have been more considerate. There's a smirk on Chuck's face that can only be called smug. 

"Come on, let's try that shower you long for." Chuck gets up and stretches again until his joints pop, and Raleigh flinches at the sound. He hates it, it makes his skin crawl. That was the very reason why Yancy had done it with relish right in front of him every single morning - it was probably the most childish thing he did, but still, he'd never passed up on the opportunity to make Raleigh squirm.

Raleigh carefully sits up and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. Chuck watches him for a moment, then he takes Raleigh's hands and pulls him up, slowly and carefully in a way that tells Raleigh that he's expecting Raleigh's legs to cave in at any given moment. It would make him laugh if he wasn't actually expecting it to happen, too. He's been in bed for over four days, after all. 

He feels better then he expected, and with Chuck's arm around his waist they make their way to the en-suite bathroom. It's one of the perks of the med bay - the bathroom is large enough for two people to move comfortably, and the shower is barrier-free and even big enough for a wheelchair. At least they don't need to worry about how to fit their rather broad frames into the shower stall together. 

Chuck turns the water on and lets it run for a moment, familiar with the cold temperature it'll have for the first minute. Raleigh usually likes cold showers, but not today. He almost feels like he's already overdoing it, but he _really_ wants that shower, and he's secure in the knowledge that Chuck is there to take over should it really be too much. Raleigh remembers that annoying condition where even the easiest task is a nearly overwhelming challenge - it's how he was left after Knifehead. Just that back then there was nobody to have his back. Now there's Chuck, his presence in Raleigh's mind a constant and welcome reminder of all the ways things are different this time.

When Raleigh turns around it's to find Chuck already stripped naked - not a very difficult task considering that he likes sleeping in just a pair of boxer briefs and maybe a t-shirt in consideration of the nurses that come in at any time of the day. His clothes lie neatly folded on the little stool in the corner, and Raleigh can't help getting an eyeful of the tempting sight he's offered.

Chuck is beautiful. 

Raleigh can't help noticing that every time anew, and it always leaves him with the urge to watch, to touch, to make Chuck feel good until he forgets his name. Now there are discoloured bruises covering almost all of his usually pale skin, most vivid on his torso, and Chuck is just finishing taking off the bandage that protects the circuitry burns on his right arm. Raleigh's eyes follows his every move until the last bit of dressing comes off and he can see the familiar pattern for the first time; dark, angry red lines tracing his entire arm, starting almost at his shoulder and ending just short of his hand. It's familiar because Raleigh has the exact same pattern on his own skin, and it's as if he feels every single line burn right now. It takes him a moment to realise that it's not just his imagination, he's actually feeling Chuck's pain over the ghost drift, triggered by taking off the bandage, and it happens to coincide with his own fresh scars.

Just then Chuck looks up, as if he picked up on either the shared sensation or Raleigh's gaze. After a moment he raises an eyebrow and looks Raleigh over with a grin.

"You know, Rals, showers are usually more comfortable without a hospital gown and boxers." The grin turns mischievous. "You'd probably get naked faster if you quit staring."

"I think I'll stare a bit longer, thank you very much." Raleigh retorts with a smirk and it earns him a chuckle from Chuck. 

"I don't mind, but the shower is waiting." Chuck throws a pointed glance at the running water. "And it would be a shame to waste all that nice warm water when we could be standing underneath it."

"I see your point." Raleigh concedes and shrugs out of the flimsy hospital gown while trying not to upset his shoulder. He still doesn't get why he has to wear that ridiculous piece of clothing if he could just as well have stolen one of Chuck's old, worn, comfy t-shirts that are tad too large on Raleigh. He's sure Chuck wouldn't have complained too much. Raleigh smirks at the thought while he takes off his underwear and quickly folds both and puts them on top of Chuck's clothes on the stool. Some habits die hard, and the neatness the Academy installed in him is one of them.

Chuck waits for Raleigh to step into the stall, then he closes the doors behind them and gently but determinedly steers Raleigh under the spray first. With a sigh of utter contentment Raleigh closes his eyes and holds his face into the stream until his hair is soaked. The water is pleasantly warm and feels so unbelievably good running down his skin that Raleigh sighs yet again, a bit louder this time. He doesn't care what he sounds like, the absolute bliss of the shower is worth getting teased for it later.

Chuck steps up behind him and lets his fingers, slicked with shampoo, card through Raleigh's wet hair. He takes his time, his movements unhurried and soothing, and Raleigh allows himself to lean into the touch and enjoy every second of it. The deft fingertips massaging his scalp send shivers of pleasure down his spine, but it's relaxing instead of arousing, a slow, comfortable sensation of contentment. God, how come he never knew how good Chuck is at this?

Chuck guides him under the spray again to rinse out the shampoo, and Raleigh follows his lead willingly. It feels so good to let somebody else take care of him for once, to hand over control and just _be_ , knowing that he's absolutely safe. It's something he never knew he lacked, _missed_ , until he found it with Chuck.

Chuck quickly washes his own short hair when he is done with Raleigh's, then he comes up behind Raleigh again and sneaks his uninjured left arm around Raleigh's waist, holding him up effortlessly while spreading shower gel all over Raleigh's body. Raleigh appreciates it, it's a big help so he doesn't drain his still recharging energy reserves all for one shower. He's already feeling the toll the activity - even if it's just standing upright - is taking on his body, the fatigue creeping up on him slowly but steadily. 

He hates feeling so exhausted all the time, it leaves him with the impression that the world is moving on around him and he doesn't even have the energy to stay awake. Chuck helps by just being with him, sleeping in every day and basically just lazing around with Raleigh, although sometimes Raleigh isn't sure how much of it is Chuck indulging Raleigh and how much is Chuck's own, profound need to recharge - not just after that final battle, but after an entire lifetime of fighting, of always being ready, of never letting go. Raleigh hasn't asked, but he suspects this is the first time off Chuck has had since joining the Academy.

Mako also eases the weariness by coming by every day when Chuck is gone - Raleigh is sure they're actually coordinating their visits, but they refuse to admit to it - and she keeps him updated about the things going on in the world, in the Shatterdome and among the other injured pilots. Sometimes they just sit an talk about nothing of importance, and Raleigh enjoys the easy yet deep friendship they share. Coming back to join Pentecost's last stand was one of the best things that ever happened to Raleigh, he understands that now.

Interestingly, it also hasn't escaped Mako's notice that Chuck is different. She nodded in confirmation when Raleigh asked if she's realised it too, and she smiled that real little smile that told Raleigh that she thinks he has changed for the better. Raleigh _knows_ it on a fundamental level because the way Chuck feels in Raleigh's mind through the ghost drift has changed. Raleigh can't help wondering if it has something to do with those things he can't remember, because the Chuck he woke up to was already different from the Chuck he piloted Gipsy with. So whatever brought on his change of mind must have happened in that specific time period that's just a black hole of nothingness in Raleigh's memories.

"I don't remember." Raleigh admits out of the blue, before he's even made the conscious decision to do so. "Nothing that happened after I triggered my escape pod."

Chuck stiffens behind him, the sudden tension in his entire body translating in his arm tightening around Raleigh's waist. They haven't spoken about Operation Pitfall at all until now. Chuck didn't seem too eager to address the matter, and Raleigh himself felt too exhausted to give it a shot. He feels like maybe now is the right moment, though. The intimacy of sharing the shower and their comfortable closeness seems to facilitate talking about an obviously unpleasant topic. Not to mention that not looking at each other while still being pysicsally and mentally close makes it easier to speak their mind.

"Tell me what happened?" Raleigh makes it a question, leaving it to Chuck to decide if he's ready to talk or not. Raleigh feels the ghost drift brimming with Chuck's emotional turmoil. It's still shielded, but Raleigh has an inkling about how strong the emotions must be if he can still pick up on it. 

Chuck swallows hard, and it takes him a moment before he replies. "After I reached the surface, after you'd made me eject... _your_ pod didn't come up. There was no communication and Tendo said there was no signal coming from it. We didn't even know if you had ejected at all."

Raleigh feels the fear and the pain Chuck experienced bleed over the ghost drift, and it gives him goosebumps. He knows Chuck isn't consciously sharing those feelings, they're just too strong for him to cover them entirely. 

"And when your pod finally did surface, it was badly damaged. I had to manually release the lid." Chuck's voice is very quiet, and Raleigh can feel his warm breath on the wet skin of his shoulder blade. "You weren't breathing."

He takes an uneasy breath and Raleigh can feel his chest shaking minutely where it's pressed against his back. "I couldn't feel you. I held you right there in my arms and there was only a big hole in my mind. You were gone."

Raleigh is overwhelmed by the bright white pain and the biting hot despair that comes over the ghost drift. It's in stark contrast to Chuck's quiet voice and his seemingly composed report. His tight grip around Raleigh's waist is the only physical evidence of his inner tension.

Doc Nash told Raleigh that he'd temporarily died, but he's never considered the ramifications. Of course Chuck would sense it. Raleigh doesn't even need to imagine what it must have done to him, he can _feel_ it over the ghost drift right now. It's terrifying, it's pure agony, and it explains so much. Why Chuck doesn't care about what others might think about them being together, why he needs even more physical contact than before, why he's not letting Raleigh out of his sight for more than a few hours. 

It leaves Raleigh shaken. He wants to apologise for what he did, even if he had no real influence on it. He never meant to hurt Chuck, especially not on such a fundamental level. He's almost swamped in regret that he made Chuck go through this, and on top of that forced him to do it alone. He'd thought that Raleigh was dead, Herc was dead, Pentecost was dead. He'd lost almost his entire family within only half an hour, and as if that wasn't bad enough already, Raleigh had left him too..

"Don't." Chuck says quietly, but his voice is firm. His grip doesn't ease, but his hands splay out on Raleigh's stomach and slowly draw a soothing pattern on his skin. His lips are touching Raleigh's shoulder and he's talking against his skin. "We'd all do it again, given a second chance, so don't apologise. My dad, Pentecost, you and me, we knew what we were getting into. That this fight was bigger than us. That we wouldn't return from that mission."

Chuck pulls him close until they're touching from head to toe, Raleigh's back pressed against Chuck's front, warm and soothing. The water is running over their skin like a gentle caress, adding another layer of comfort. Raleigh closes his eyes and melts into Chuck's arms, allows himself to be held, knowing that he's giving Chuck as much comfort by leaning into him as he himself gets by being held.

"I didn't expect any of us to survive, so don't you apologise. This - including any pain - is way better than the alternative." Chuck sounds serious, leaves no doubt that he means is, every word. He presses his lips against the skin of Raleigh's shoulder, the injured one, and Raleigh feels a wave of tension over the ghost drift that slowly eases into relief. "We made it, that's all that matters."

Raleigh turns around in Chuck's embrace without breaking it. He looks him straight in the eyes and slowly, purposefully trails his finger along one of the still raw scars on Chuck's right arm. He promptly feels the answering burn on the less severe scar on his own arm. 

"I can feel them hurt." Raleigh whispers and the slight widening of Chuck's eyes tell him that he didn't know that. "They match my scars, and I can feel your pain in my burns." 

Chuck's lips open, but he seems unable to form words. There's just a gentle gasp, and his tongue passing over his bottom lips as if his mouth is suddenly dry.

"I like your new circuitry burns." Raleigh says without ever breaking the gaze, wanting Chuck to see that he understand what Chuck told him back in Raleigh's room after their first drift, that he gets it now. "I think I might even grow to love them."

Chuck's breathing has sped up, his mouth still slightly agape. He raises his hand and suddenly his warm fingers touch the marks on Raleigh's arm in the exact same spot that Raleigh's fingertip is pressed against on his arm. "I know what you mean."

He holds Raleigh's gaze for a long moment, then he leans in and captures Raleigh's lips. He's caught by surprise for a moment, but his response is immediate, instinctive. He opens his mouth to Chuck, allows him in, pulls him close with his hand on his side. There's no air left between them, they touch almost everywhere, and Raleigh can't help groaning into the kiss in pleasure. God, he missed Chuck's touch so much, his hands on his skin, his tongue duelling with his, his hot body pressed against his. It's almost too much, like a sensory overload, but Raleigh doesn't want to stop. He feels arousal course through his veins and for one moment he's tempted to screw caution, to just take Chuck here and now, in the shower, almost reminiscent of their first time.

It's Chuck who breaks the kiss, obviously reluctantly but with clear determination, as if he knows that taking it any further will do more damage than good. Raleigh lets his forehead rest against Chuck's, the water hitting the nape of his neck and running down his back. He's breathing hard, his nerves vibrating with the potential pleasure his body won't get, and for a long while they just stand together in the shower and share their frantic breath, caught in the intensity of the moment.

Chuck pecks his lips when they've calmed down again, his hands a steady presence on Raleigh's sides. Conscious thoughts return and Raleigh feels the world intrude on their private little moment of arousal.

"Have you thought about what you want to do now that the Breach is closed?" Raleigh wonders quietly. It's another topic they haven't talked about yet.

"There are many options." Chuck replies after a second, and it surprises Raleigh that he sounds careful, even a little guarded. "We could call it the quits and try to live a normal life."

Raleigh immediately shakes his head, causing a funny feeling where his forehead is still touching Chuck's. "I could never quit knowing that there's a - and I quote Gottlieb here - 'very high probability that there are other settlements of Precursors', meaning that we have to expect another Kaiju war." 

It's just when the words are out that Raleigh realises that maybe Chuck has had enough of this war, that maybe he _wants_ to get out and find out what living actually means. It's the feeling of immense relief that he gets over their connection that immediately eases his worries, even before Chuck can say anything.

"Man, I'm so glad to hear that." Chuck huffs out a breath of relief. "I was really worried here that you maybe wanted to leave the PPDC again."

"Not again, not this time." Raleigh smirks. "Funny thing is, I thought the same thing about you."

"Nah, this is my world." Chuck shrugs and returns the smirk. "Hey, I know that it's a limited set of experience, considering that I've lived over half of my life with or in the PPDC, but it's what I want to do, where I want to be as long as I'm needed. Only if the Kaiju threat is really and absolutely gone can I think about doing something else."

"I can imagine teaching at the Academy." Raleigh has thought about it ever since yesterday morning's meeting when Herc had laid out the plans for the future of the PPDC. "Although it feels strange that _I_ would ever be a teacher. Sometimes I still feel like a student around old masters like Pentecost and your dad, never mind that I tend to oppose them."

"Tell me about it." Chuck snorts. "If we really train solo pilots for the mini-Jaegers, then they'll probably all be well over a decade older than me."

"Well, you're a seasoned Jaeger pilot because you started very very early - and stayed alive. They should feel honoured to get such an experienced teacher, never mind your age." Raleigh growls, he can't help feeling protective of Chuck from time to time. 

"It's good I have you around to point that out to them, then." Chuck has a teasing smirk on his lips, as if he's amused by Raleigh's inner cavemen coming through.

"I'll do that, no worries." Raleigh possessively tightens his arm that has found its way around Chuck's waist.

"Working as test pilots would be cool, too." Chuck grins, and for a moment he looks like a ten year old boy with a fascinating new toy. "I think if we offered, Doc Lightcap might be happy to take us on. For the new Mark series as well as for the mini-Jaegers."

"That reminds me, she's coming by at one o'clock to do some experiments with me. Trying to figure out what we can do for Pentecost." Raleigh tells Chuck, not sure if he already knows or not. "We should probably get out of the shower and eat lunch before that."

"We could ask her then." Chuck suggest while he makes Raleigh turn around again to soak him one last time and wash away any remains of soap and shampoo.

"Sure. She'll be delighted." Raleigh replies with his eyes closed against the water. He feels Chuck's hands on his sides, hesitating for a moment, then they sneak around his waist and pull him close. There's an undefined tension in the air.

"Whatever we do, let's just do it together, okay?" Raleigh says and he feels the pleasure about his words not only in Chuck's smile against his shoulder, but also over their ghost drift. The tension eases to almost nothing.

"Okay." Chuck replies, his voice quiet but pleased.

Raleigh smiles, pleased at the knowledge that he and Chuck thought the same thing. They'll be all right, no matter where they'll end up.

**Author's Note:**

> I spent a lot of love, time and effort writing this fic while working 10 hour days, so please please please feed me with a nice wee comment? You'd do me a world of good (I have four more weeks of this work project ahead of me, and there's so much more fic to write! o_O )


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